Monday, September 22, 2008

Stress, strain and slaughter?

Yes, I have had lot of things to burst out in my blog at so many occasions which ultimately I did not, for almost a year and of course still the things haven’t been settled down. But finally have decided and drove in to key in, just because of all that made the last weekend very sad. It was a very unfortunate weekend for all of us in our work place that we had lost one of our children.

The loss is because of depression? stress? nervous breakdown? I know the child for more than a year now. She was in her second year of her course, but since she joined our place in 2007, she used to share a lot of things with some of us, which made me to think about the way how children like her are being brought up in a speed and mechanical world with nobody to take-care and most importantly no body to listen to.

I am not able to figure out one thing in this society that is it so mandatory that one has to always run behind something that lay golden eggs, something that generates wealth and money? It was a very shock for me when I came to experience this for the first time in my life, years back. But after moving to this capital metro-city, I started facing more and more people of the category and I am still not able to keep them under the human(e) beings.

Where are we now?
What are we doing?
Do we really know what happens around us?
Do we really think about others around us?
Do we, at least, have a room to listen to others?

I have been reading and hearing and listening for so many years that any human being’s, any individual’s nature and characters, start and develop as she/he grow up with her/her parents and then the society. But how many parents do remember that they have kids at home? It has become no uncommon that majority of metro parents and non-metros as well, started focusing their interests towards the five-letter mantra ‘money’, but at the cost of their kids’ lives.

This never sounds pleasing for me, neither for many of the people whom I know, because we all have had the care during our childhood. But the kid, whom I was mentioning in the beginning, was not lucky enough to have the same. As a person who knows her, I can say that she was very much creative, punctual, active, dedicated, enthusiastic and involved. Always with a peppy smile, shaking head very strongly responding for discussions and matured gestures , like how any other who knows her, feel, she is still roaming around somewhere here, I feel.

“What’s the big deal in not having food for the whole day.. I have lots of works to do, so let me skip food…”, and the day ended up, sweeping off her life. Yes, the saturday was a not a usual Saturday for her. She had works to do, had she skipped her breakfast and lunch and evening had a kind of dizzy and then food. It seems in her granny’s house, she went inside the kitchen and had the panic-attack, as how she usually refers, bit more severely but could come out and what they say, she got fits.
Her granny took her to a clinic nearby and the doctor initially guessed that it was something could be cured, but when she had difficulty in breathing the doctor set up the ventilator, but still her condition worsened. The kid was then taken to another hospital where she was declared, brought dead. The saturday evening was the last evening she was alive. The reason said was, too much of stress or depression caused the nervous breakdown in turn the tensed mind and body which was in a big hype that caused the fits, then etcetera!

To some extent I can understand the feeling of her friends of the same age-group who are just in their late teens, who were crying, weeping, sobbing and some howling and what else could have been done? Her very intimate friends were even badly experiencing the situation. The final rites were done and the kid was taken to the crematorium.

I could find her friends were the most affected. Perhaps like,
“It’s my friend out there lying down dead, with whom I was chatting yesterday morning.”
“I am not able to believe this unexpected sudden demise”
“I feel like she is sleeping”
“Will you, m...... dear, wake up with that same peppy smile again”
and more that can’t be expressed with just few words.

The loneliness has surrounded her for more than 15 years? It looks like that's what claimed her life for nothing but only leaving the grieving friends around. Who else are making their kids to suffer the same? Must be everywhere around.. is it just because of and by the society? Why aren’t we thinking from a baby's perspective / a teenager’s perspective or others so? Are all the parents satisfied and happy enough after gaining the five-letter mantra? Never, because the greed never dies, but people will. This is what the generators want, doesn’t it? But dear parents, you are creating just the depression in children’s minds in turn the stress and this is not what your children want from you but only love, care and affection.

Money at the cost of life! Nobody can justify this forever because that’s the fact, and parents and whoever, please do not let others to undergo any sort of mental turmoil because our mind and body are so precious, made ready naturally in such a way that only a peaceful living can keep both good. For the believers, god has given us these and we need to take care of ourselves, so the others as well and that’s why the human(e) race is made up for.

The question still lies beneath, how many budding young and creative brains are we going to lose while in search of the same five-letter?

At this point I remember, in a recent television interview, a psychiatrist was pointing out something very important to all parents - "Its very very important to listen to your children rather than you talk to them!!". Of course, it's very fact that, IT WILL ALWAYS BE GOOD IF WE ARE, THE BEST LISTENERS!

Let us pray the almighty, for her soul to rest in peace.


Mitr - Friend said...

who was that.?

JohnNRI said...

Thats very depressing. But psychological problems alone cant kill a person. First I was thinking she committed suicide. She must have had some nerves problem in real as well. But the psychological stress played a big part in making things worse to that point I agree.
The five letter word is so powerful. People are so lost in search of it that they really have no clue what they are going to do with it. Some people are single. No family. No kids. No one to save money for. Still they hunt money all the time right upto their death that neither themselves enjoyed the fruits of their labour nor anyone else. I have a strong feeling that many people go through marriage and enter parenthood as a routine expected of them by the society... not because they want a family. I have seen people with only one kid making a fuss about how it is hard for them to manage the mischievous kid. I am at a loss to understand why they decided to bring a life into this world.
Keep up your good work of enlightening us Venni.

Vennimalai N said...

John, didn't i reply immediately!

It was not a suicide for sure, because i am aware of the whole background of that nervous trouble and even some doctors' opinion about that as well.
yes i could understand your 'rant' through your 'tags' and its fact that family bond is weakening as days move on so is for the relationships. So for such mentality, like you mentioned, why marriage and why child and so why disturbing and troubling other lives!?

btw, "Enlightening you all?" ha ha ha!!